Book Review: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
A dear friend gave me this book as a gift – and it was a wonderful choice because it was fascinating, amusing and informative all at the same time.
Sheryl Sandberg is the COO of Facebook, and regularly shows up on the ‘Most Powerful/Influential’ charts. Her 2013 book, Lean In, is her clarion call for women and men to start talking openly about why we have so few women in leadership rolls, and to start addressing some of the causes.
At first glance you may think: “It’s not for me”, but bear with. Many of us with craft businesses are happier around a kitchen table than a boardroom table, and have no desire to lead a Fortune 500 company, so I’ll distill the bits that I think you’ll find useful here.
To get you up to speed quickly, I recommend you watch Sandberg’s famous TED talk, which is like a potted version of the book, and you’ll see she’s lovely and human and vulnerable like the rest of us. The idea behind the title of the book “Lean In”, is to get us, as women, stepping up, making our voices and opinions heard, and believing we have as much right as the next man or woman to be in the driving seat.
This is important, because time and again I see great designers held back in their own businesses through lack of confidence or belief in themselves. I know what it’s like, I’ve been there. It’s called “imposter syndrome” and it comes up in chapter 2 of the book: Sit at the table. We’ve gotta be in it to win it.
As a working mum, juggling home, children and a business, I particularly liked the chapters entitled Make your partner a real partner and The myth of doing it all. Hurrah! It’s so reassuring to know the challenges are pretty similar wherever you work, and to understand that the power to correct some of the issues lies in our own hands. There are lots of anecdotes and real-life examples in the book to illustrate how, not just theory, which I really liked.
Sandberg quotes Harvard Business School Professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter, who when asked at a conference what men could do to help advance women’s leadership, answered “the laundry”. Good one, Prof! Enough said.
According to Sandberg’s sources, in UK duel income families, women do about twice as much childcare and housework as men. In my family, I think it comes down to who “owns” the jobs. To be fair to my wonderful, supportive husband, the jobs that he does “own” (traditional male tasks like bins, car maintenance, lawn-mowing) he executes regularly and efficiently and without delay or complaint. The book made me think about sharing out ownership of some of the other domestic tasks that due to years of convention seem to have ended up on my to do list rather than his. I have started to move things over to his list and the sky hasn’t fallen in yet. (This is also a good way to challenge my unhelpful perfectionist tendencies that drive me to control everything, and are actually a one way ticket to Tired & Tearful Town.)
Sheryl Sandberg has a supportive husband, children she loves, a senior role in a global company, a friendly sister living close by and the ability to hire great people at work and home to help her, but she makes it clear that she does not “do it all” or indeed “have it all”. She admits on occasion making gut-wrenching family sacrifices for her career and has rolled with the heavy blow of guilt that was thrown her way as a result.
Those sacrifices may not be your cup-of-tea, but Sandberg’s honesty is refreshing, and her courage clear. She has blazed a trail that is not for every woman, but one that we and our daughters will benefit from however far along the path we choose to venture. And she has us talking openly and honestly about equality, our strengths and reaching for our goals.
Because of the book and the spin-off website LeanIn.org, Lean In Circles are springing up all over the world: small peer group support networks that meet monthly with the purpose of sharing experiences and learnings. I’m a huge fan of this kind of networking, and I regularly see the benefits of it in action through the collaborations taking place in my workshops. Another wonderful quote from the book attributed to former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright brings a wry smile to my face: “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” Lean In is supportive and non-judgemental, just like a good friend should be, so I think that is one less thing for Sheryl Sandberg to worry about.
Leanin.org
Facebook.com/Leanin
